I accept life unconditionally.

I never finished those two rooms,
but not for lack of trying.
I agonized over Spackle and Sheetrock and tray-fulls of primer and barely
got started on the actually paint. 
Getting drugged up on energy drinks helped.
Hunger and climbing ladders and heat.

I'm not just doing this for you.

Hours of torment are mocked by pleasant dreams lingering in my head.
Dreams of happy tears and love. Working a late shift only to look up and see
you're next on line holding a ring.  Dreams of long-lost loves and friends
surrounding me with much desired affections that I thought were lost with childish
naivety and hope. 
It felt so real.

Looking forward to going back to Connecticut Wednesday morning.
Maybe things will work out.
Maybe he will become as excited about me moving up as I used to be.

People see only what they wish to see.
It is then that you are truly blind.

Off to Connecticut in the morning.  Where I belong.
A chance to finally finish the two rooms.
Two chores are all that's left in the way of great changes.

I intentionally pushed away what I'll ultimately be leaving behind.
It's time to start fresh in a much more welcoming place.



People spend their first years trying to fit in,
and the rest of their lives trying to stand out.

Who could have anticipated this.  So many others have the good taste to watch
Supernatural religiously and spread the word of its existence like a gospel, but
never did I expect the highlights of the show to re-air, incarnate in the world of
anime.  Two very different worlds are surrealistically warped together.  Sam and
Dean are officially... anime characters.

I hope it's the shit.

Vegetable and Herbal Garden

(Along with some perky flowers)


Phase 1:

Sunflowers

Cilantro

Squash

Benjamin Buttons

And some Cucumbers, Watermelon, Basil and Potatoes to come!

I've come so far, with little to show for it.
Like devoting a morning to trekking down a beach
and watching all  your footsteps get swept away in
one high-tide wave. 
Where have you gone? Where have you been?
Who have I been?

Working every day only to earn the shit-bottom minimum wage.
I just want to curl up in myself and make art.
Drawings and sculptures and rag rugs and paintings caked in oils.

Mostly I've wanted to sleep.

Half my brain going to waste, creativity overflowing and running down the drain.
My body wants to lay dormant in REM along with my soul while I waste my life
somewhere between childhood and adulthood. 
No one here sees me for who I am.

Going to Connecticut tomorrow.
I cannot wait to live there.
Finally, I'll rest my head in the place I call home.

This morning, my aunt's condominium was having one big blowout of a tag sale and I found the best finds of 2011!

2 Sterling Silver Rings
1 Pair of New Sneakers
2 Pairs of New Jeans (that fit perfectly!)
1 Black Button Down Shirt
1 Black Tank Top (with a built-in bra for the gym)
1 Gorgeous Over-sized Sheer Curtain
1 Hand-held Coffee/Tea Maker
1 Knitted Spring Sweater
2 Beautiful Glass Pitchers (for my mixed fruit drinks- yum!)
1 Bath and Body Works Cucumber Body Splash
1 New Full-Sized Travel-Friendly Makeup Kit (complete with brushes, blush, eyeshadow, lipsticks, gloss and mirror)


And all for $20 bucks!



This fabulous find I take pleasure in using now.

I haven't stopped applying to jobs in the Fairfield Country area. 
Just before the Easter weekend, I applied to a few secretarial/office assistant
positions and was feeling a bit discouraged when I didn't hear back, but
the email status claims they haven't been read yet. 
Get a move on folks, I want to move.
Another job popped up today, working as an assistant manager in a fine art
store close to where I'd be staying.  I have the necessary credentials.

Fingers crossed!

I'd move up there at the drop of a paintbrush to take that job, that's what I
wrote to them. 
Tomorrow I'm going with mom to the gym. 
Time to work on those triceps and lower abs. 
And overall physical strength.  Sheesh.


Only five more days and Jay and I will mark our six-month anniversary.
I want to do something special...

Hard to believe it's been nearly six months.
Time flies when you're in love.  <3